When we booked our cruise Christie was listing off the places the ship stopped. Malta, Naples, Rome, Florence and Cannes. I had heard of all of them except for Malta so I asked where that was and Christie responded “Huh, I have no idea, part of Sicily maybe?” so we fired up Google and figured out that it is actually it’s own country located south of Sicily.
Anyway, this was our first stop on the cruise but we couldn’t find anything to do on the island before we got there so we decided to just walk around and see what we come across. We slept in a got a late start around 11:30 and we needed to be back by 2:30. After taking 10 steps off the ship and feeling the sweltering heat like it is coming directly out of Dante’s mouth I say “I bet were back within 2 hours.” Before we get 100 yards from the ship my back is soaked with sweat and beads are pouring off my head like when Striker is trying to land the plane in the movie Airplane. We run the cabbie gauntlet and pass the horse carriage “won’t take no for an answer” guy and start walking up the 30 degree hill to get into town.
At this point there is visible sweat on the top of my shorts from the river running down my back but I am fighting through it. We walked past a very beautiful building that turned out to be the foreign ministry building that had plaques from foreign dignitaries thanking Malta for their part in World War II so apparently the island is good for something besides sweat production. We walked down some alleys since they were shaded and made our way back to the main square.
1.5 hours after we left we ship we got back on the ship and 1/3rd of the backside of my shorts was much darker than the rest. That was the last time I wore my khaki shorts on the trip. We then laid out on our balcony and enjoyed the rays with frequent breaks back inside to absorb the air conditioning.
Dear Malta,
You were a pretty place to observe from the comfort of my air conditioned suite. You are made entirely of stone and are almost void of trees and vegetation so I hope you have a good trade deal setup with an agricultural exporter. Due to my normal sweat production and my acclimation to the climate of Boulder I will probably not visit you again. From now on I will no longer say I am hot, I will say I am Malta.
Sincerely,
Luke
P.S. We did not take any pictures in Malta because the camera would have melted.
Leave a comment